


Always Her

by blankvellum



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Pining, Unrequited Love, no actual act of incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2021-01-01 18:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21147128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankvellum/pseuds/blankvellum
Summary: James had a problem, he knew.





	Always Her

James had always thought it was normal to be so enamored with your cousin. To admire their beauty, to want to be around them all the time, to think about them before he went to sleep. At school he realized it was not normal, he wasn't supposed to feel that way towards his own cousin. 

Rose is his cousin, it was wrong. He would chant it as a mantra everyday. It wouldn't do any good. No girl was ever as brilliant or pretty as Rose. He had been jealous of Albus growing up because him and Rose were very much attached at the hip. They drifted a bit apart in Hogwarts though due to being in different houses. James then got Rose all to himself.

He was elated when she made it on the team as a Chaser, she was brilliant just like he knew she would be. He would practice with her at night when there was no one else around. Those were his favorite moments.

In 5th year was when he realized that it wasn't just a crush, he was in love with Rose. The moment he realized it was when they were in the library one day. Rose had been obsessively studying, determined to get better marks than Scorpius Malfoy. While James pretended he was working on schoolwork. He really was watching Rose. Watching how her nose crinkled up when she was concentrating very hard. He noticed how she would continuously brush away stray strands of hair that fell into her face while she was reading. He realized then he was doomed, he was in love with her.

As James grew older he figured he'd develop interest in other girls apart from Rose. He was interested in some girls, but the relationships never manifested into anything particularly meaningful or long lasting. To his annoyance Matthew Wood also became interested in Rose. It was really bad in 6th year. Luckily, Rose wasn't interested. She hadn't really shown much interest in dating in general which allowed James to dream more. 

Despite Rose's disinterest, Wood continued to pursue her. One day James got so fed up with him that he hexed him. A good old fashioned bat bogey hex. Rose had been furious. 'I can take care of myself, James!'. James got detention for it, but it was totally worth it. Wood didn't try anything ever again.

When James had gotten into a fight with Scorpius in 7th year, Rose made him apologize the next day. She had stood next to him with her arms crossed, coercing an apology out of him. It was painful to say the least.

Over the summer James had been mad at Rose because she wasn't going to play Quidditch in her last year. Though really he wasn't mad. He was just trying to push her away. They were too close now, it was painful, wanting someone you can't have. He supposed the distance would be good for them. James would be busy with Auror training anyway.

Then James did something incredibly stupid. It was over Christmas holiday. James had swiped some firewhiskey for him and Rose to drink, then went upstairs. He had gotten a little drunk and kissed Rose. He couldn't resist, her face was reddened from the alcohol and laughing so much, it was a sight to see. It was wonderful and horrible at the same time. Rose had pulled away, a shocked look on her face. James left early. The next day he apologized.

"It's fine, Jamie. I know you didn't mean it. You were drunk." Rose had told him

Rose didn't know how wrong she had been. He had resolved that she would never know. Things continued on as normal.

After Rose finished Hogwarts one day she had arrived at Grimmauld Place with bags in hand. She announced she was moving in, James didn't even protest it. 

They settled into a certain domestic routine. Rose would cook once she got home from the Ministry, she worked in the Department of Mysteries. James would then clean up. Later in the night they would watch the telly together, old movies from the 1930s-50s were Rose's favorite. Quite frankly they were awful, but he cherished those times. Sometimes if he was lucky Rose would snuggle up to him. He'd wrap an arm around her. She was warm, soft, and fit perfectly against him. He wondered if that was weird for cousins to do. James didn't care, he could have this one thing. These little moments where he could pretend Rose was his. 

Then Rose met Brendan and things changed. She would often be out with him for dinner and eventually ended up staying the night most nights. James missed her desperately. To make matters worse, the bloke was 10 years older than her. He hated him to say the least, but Rose was crazy about him. Rose never had gotten hung up on any guy before.

"What is your problem? I thought you'd be happy for me!" Rose had said.

"He's a git! He's also older than Teddy!" James pointed out, quite loudly.

"He's not a git and the age difference isn't a big deal." Rose had said. James and his Uncle Ron both disagreed.

James eventually found a girl he could see himself being with longterm, her name was Anna. She worked as a receptionist for a few of the Aurors. He had decided one day to ask her out because what could it hurt? 

Then one night Rose came home in tears. "He broke up with me, James." 

"What? Why would he do that?" James questioned. Why anyone would want to dump Rose was beyond him.

"He said we were at different stages in our lives. He wants to get married and have a family. I'm... not ready for that yet." Rose admitted. "I mean, I'm only 22 I have so much I want to do first!"

"I'm sorry, Rose." James said not knowing what else to say. 

Rose plopped down on the couch, "I think I'm going to stay single for the rest of my life. Men are stupid."

James sat down on the couch beside her, he chuckled. "Yeah, we are."

On James' first big mission he managed to get himself in a lot of trouble. He didn't listen to his older, more experienced partner and headed right into an ambush. He ended up getting knocked out and put into St. Mungo's. He wasn't out for too long, but when he came to he asked for Rose. Unfortunately, for him his girlfriend was right there and she seemed pretty upset that he hadn't noticed her. Suffice to say, they broke up.

Rose had been quick to call him an idiot once she saw he was all right. James couldn't help, but to grin like an idiot throughout her entire lecture which really was a similar one to his Mum's. 

Everyone else was getting married around them, him and Rose were one of the only ones in the family that were still unmarried at 25 and 26. Then by some stroke of absolute insanity Rose had gotten together with Frank Longbottom. Frank Longbottom who was 4 years younger than Rose, Frank Longbottom who wet the bed until he was 10 years old. At least that was what Alice had told him. 

Of course, James didn't have a bad word to say about Frank. He had known the guy all his life after all. Though admittedly he had always been a bit of a dork. They were cute together he supposed. He could see that Rose generally would call the shots in their relationship. 

Eventually, Rose moved out to live with Frank. James wasn't used to living alone, he had only done it for one year. It was an adjustment. The next year Rose and Frank had gotten engaged.

"You're going to be Rose Longbottom now. That has to be the worst last name!" James had teased. Though inside he felt like his heart had shattered into a million pieces.

As bad as it sounded, James had really not wanted to go the wedding. Watching the love of his life marry another man would no doubt be unbearable. He knew Rose would kill him if he missed it. So he endured it and got unspeakably drunk at the reception. His date had not been pleased nor had his mother. Rose probably hadn't noticed or else she would have told him off or maybe she let it go since it was her wedding day. She looked beautiful in a perfect white dress, she was glowing. She looked really happy, all smiles and laughter. He would kill for Rose to look at him like she looked at her groom. He should be happy for her. A better man would be, but he was not a better man. 

James didn't think he wanted to get married. Why do that to another woman when he knew he probably wouldn't be able to give her what she deserved, his heart. Rose Granger-Weasley now Longbottom already had it. 

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A/N - Hope you enjoyed! This fic is part of my Serpent and the Badger universe. Just an idea that came to me. I keep on adding on to this. This is probably my favorite thing I've written.


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